Every once in awhile I realize that I have been given a gift (perhaps by God?) of an amazing "taking" opportunity. When I received an invitation from my friend Alisha to her son's carnival-themed first birthday party complete with actual pony rides I was giddy with anticipation. Kepper is an adorable kid and I love Alisha and her husband Jamie and all but it was the evil thought of "taking" the pony that got me excited! I have spent the past 2 weeks plotting to "take" the pony. Plans were drawn up, full scale architectural drawings of Alisha's house were created, escape routes were considered, and a horse trailer was hidden 2 blocks from the kidnapping site the house.
If you are reading this and thinking to yourself that taking a pony from a child's birthday part is just plain mean then you lack the imagination needed to participate in the year of taking. Half the kids at the party were too scared to ride Tonka the Pony so, really, had my endeavor been successful I would have been doing the kids a favor. Not only that but Alisha and Jamie had just planted grass in the backyard and Tonka was eating it at an alarming rate so had I taken him their yard would have been lush, green, and uneaten.
I think my plan first started to unravel when Jonathan and I arrived at the party and Alisha poured us wine. I am not at my spryest when drinking during the afternoon (also I tend to become easily distracted by additional cocktails) but since I already had a plan I figured I had to go with it...its not often than I plan anything for a whole 2 weeks. After a couple of glasses of wine and a few really delicious fried shrimp I decided it was time to act.
Step 1: Build trust with the Pony
Tonka and I seemed to have an immediate connection although he seemed very hungry and not at all excited
to leave his tasty lawn-treat.
Unfortunately I didn't anticipate Alisha's ninja-quick reflexes although really I should have figured that a mother who has spent 2 months planning her child's party would notice when a guest tries to steal the key piece of entertainment...
A fight for Tonka the Pony quickly ensued between me and Alisha. The crowd (even her 100 year old grandmother and several of the older children) started screaming "fight, fight, fight". It was a heady feeling like what I imagine Mixed Martial Arts fighters feel before going into the octagon.
I thought that if I screamed, "Hey who invited George Clooney to the party" I could distract Alisha enough that she would lose her grip on Tonka's saddle. Sadly she is smarter than I anticipated so she didn't fall for my clever ruse stupid trick. You may notice that in this photo Alisha is actually digging her heels into her new lawn...she isn't planning to lose the pony and she is freakishly strong. Dammit.
Sometimes, in the words of the great Kenny Rogers, "You have to know when to hold them and know when to fold them". So I released my hold on the pony and quickly pretended to faint which distracted everyone for the moment. I think that Alisha was considering throwing me out of her house but I told her that I thought maybe someone roofed my wine so it wasn't my fault. I don't know if she believe that or not but she had other shady guests to worry about (I saw at least 2 trying to steal silverware and another one humiliating a child at the powerlifting booth) so she forgot about me. Jonathan and I snuck out the backdoor to make our escape because all of Kepper's grandparents were in attendance and we figured it was only a matter of time before they got wind of the attempted-pony-heist and turned on us.
All in all it was a great party...the food was amazing, Alisha's house is gorgeous (I saw several items I would like to "take" from her but I will wait until she goes on vacation to break in visit her house again), and she and her family are the hosts-with-the-most. I hope she will give Tonka the Pony my phone number because I think we really connected and I think he would enjoy eating some of our lawn in his spare time.
And for Filanthropy Friday and for Kepper's birthday, Jonathan and I donated $50 to Cavalier King Charles Rescue USA in Kepper's name. I don't know if it's his first charitable donation but I know it won't be his last because Alisha is a big believer in helping others.
Thanks for playing along with the year of taking Kepper, Alisha, and Jamie!
