Good Intentions Gone Awry.

(Me and Cash after a day of playing outside)

Have you ever had one of those days where all of your good intentions sort of go wrong?  I have those days all the time so, really, it should never come as a surprise to me when it happens but sometimes I manage to surprise myself with my own ineptitude.

On Friday I made myself a mental to-do list for Saturday which included planting the rest of the flowers in our ginormous front flower bed, cleaning several rooms in our house which seem to be especially dusty, washing the dogs, and then maybe doing some laundry.  Had I done all of those things I would have felt a huge sense of accomplishment and our house and the front yard would have looked fantastic!  Sadly, it was not meant to be.

Let me back up a step here and explain that once a year, during SXSW, the famed week-long music festival, my husband Jonathan and Steph's husband Matt go to the all day event at The Continental Club which starts with Mojo Nixon's Jalapeno Pancake Breakfast and features a multitude of artists.  This year's lineup was as follows (for you music lovers):

10:00am    Allen Oldies
10:50am   Sara Petite
11:40am   Roger Alan Wade
12:25 pm  Two Hoots and a Holler
1:15 pm    The Mastersons
2:05pm     Whiskey Sisters
2:55 pm    Jon Dee Graham
3:45pm     James McMurtry
4:35 pm    The Iguanas
5:25 pm    Mojo Nixon

Stephanie said she would drive Matt & Jonathan downtown in the morning and I agreed to pick them up in the evening after the last act ended so they could save a bundle of money on cab fare.  The plan was for Jonathan to call or text me to come and get them when they were ready to come home.  I figured that I would spend my day on my to-do list and then pop downtown and pick them up (anticipated travel time = 1 hour) and then Jonathan and I would have a relaxing evening at home.  

My day started off on the wrong track when, instead of getting up and starting to do my chores, I opened up my laptop and logged into Facebook while turning on the TV and tuning in to Law & Order.  Naturally with that level of distraction I managed to lie around in my PJ's for 3 hours watching TV and writing pithy comments on FB.  Around 1pm I realized I needed to do something so I cleaned the master bathroom including the dusty area behind the jacuzzi (Nigel loves to play there).  I felt pretty good about that but really wasn't motivated to do much else so I decided to go over to Stephanie's house and "take" her time.

I showed up at Stephanie's around 3pm and, right away, I started "taking" by giving her Great Dane, Riggs, a big crunchy dog treat which he managed to crumble up all over the couch.  Score!!  Then, inexplicably, Stephanie decided we should take Cash outside to play (I think she didn't want me messing up her whole house which was my plan).  

The next thing I know Cash is making me play with him - we drew some great art with sidewalk chalk, kicked leaves into the sewer, and raked up dirt with some sticks - while Stephanie took pictures.  Somehow that sly Stephanie turned things around so SHE was taking MY time not the other way around.  Needless to say I was so dispirited by my failed "taking" event that I rushed home to cry for awhile.

Around 6pm Jonathan called me and told me that he and Matt were ready to be picked up downtown.  Since I knew they had spent the day drinking adult beverages at an exhausting concert I decided to bring them some bottled water and some tacos from Taco Cabana.  I grabbed the tacos and headed downtown in the LizMobile only to find that my timing calculations were completely off because I had forgotten that SXSW crowds combined with St. Patrick's Day crowds = total traffic mayhem/gridlock.  It took at least an hour to get downtown and another 30 minutes, after picking up Matt & Jonathan, to get out of traffic. (and can I just say that I know were are all supposed to LOVE bicyclists because they are eco-friendly but I freaking hate their slow-moving-in-traffic-bad-attitude-cut-in-front-of-cars-attitudes)

By the time we were on MoPac headed north I was in a pretty foul and bitchy mood which I did not keep to myself.  My husband was just thrilled with my continuous remarks about the traffic and how much of my time it took to go pick him up.  Later I felt pretty bad about complaining so much because I realized that Jonathan probably thought I was trying to make him feel guilty but really I was just mad that what I thought would be a 1 hour excursion took more than 2 hours on a Saturday night.  My fault entirely for not calculating correctly.  On the bright side I was able to "take" my husband's good mood and ruin it.  I didn't feel that good about that "taking" situation though.

So the long and the short of it is that sometimes "taking" doesn't go according to plan.  I learned that sometimes when you try to take from a friend you get so caught up in fun with a happy little kid (Cash) that you happily give your time instead of taking someone else's.  I also found that sometimes the best of intentions for giving lead to a bad kind of taking (ruining someone else's mood).  But with all of that said I am still committed to taking as much as I can from the world this year.  

Stephanie, Cash, and Parenting Tips

I should alert my 5 subscribers that this post isn't really about "taking" its more of a background piece on Stephanie's and my friendship which is relevant because I mention her frequently in my blog and on my Facebook page.  Sometimes people who don't know me or Stephanie well wonder if my teasing is, perhaps, a little harsh.  This post should clear the air on that topic...

As many of you know I have a best friend. Her name is Stephanie and this blog was 1/2 her idea. We concocted the idea together at the Firebowl Cafe here in Austin.  Many of you have also noticed that I give Stephanie a lot of grief on her blog and on Facebook and this post is all about why I do that, why we are friends, and why Stephanie needs so much of my "advice" and "counsel".  

Steph and I met in 2005 when we were both working at the same company.  We started a weekly ritual of having dinner together every Wednesday night. Sometimes we went out and sometimes we hung out at my place and cooked dinner (read: I cooked Kraft Macaroni & Cheese for Stephanie) and just watched Law & Order.  But whatever we were doing that one night per week was the time we unwound, complained about the things people complain about, and laughed a lot.  In other words, we had a perfect girlfriends night once a week.

In 2006 Stephanie got married and my living room and our Wednesday nights became ground zero for the creation of wedding programs, menus, save the date cards etc.  Over time, as some friends do, we started to notice that we each had a few quirks and, as friends do, we started to make fun of each other for those quirks.  Sometimes humor really keeps you grounded and honest about who you are.

When Stephanie got pregnant in 2010 she told me by bringing me a bouquet of flowers with a card that said, "You are going to be Aunt Liz"!  It was so sweet.  I was very nervous about how her pregnancy would change our friendship as I am not a big "child lover" and I have to admit, I didn't really want to share Stephanie and our Wednesday nights with a baby.  

I think Steph knew about my apprehension and so as usual we approached the situation with humor.  We started joking around about her unborn baby whom she called "Lumpy".  We joked about how all the Splenda she consumed would cause the child to be born a cyclops.  We joked about how Matt & Steph would love little Lumpy even if (or in Matt's case "especially if") he were born with features that made him fit to join the circus and tour as a "freak". In other words we both had a good laugh about Steph's pregnancy and, over time, I got a lot more comfortable with sharing my best friend with a Lumpy little baby. In fact, I started to get excited about becoming Aunt Liz.  

Since I am a control freak the mere thought of being Aunt Liz sent me into a planning frenzy.  Lumpy would need to start learning a language in the womb. He should start physics at age 2. And of course he would go to Stanford or maybe Harvard.  Aunt Liz started to have big plans for Lumpy which amused Stephanie but I also think she kind of liked the fact that I was now excited about (instead of being apprehensive about) her baby.  Stephanie teased me about my plans for Lumpy just as I started to tease her about undoing all my planning for the baby's future. And so the foundation for our jokes about her parenting skills was laid.

Then Lumpy - renamed Cash at birth - was born.  Aunt Liz and Uncle Jonathan fell in love with little Cash who was such a sweet baby.  But one thing we started to notice is that when shown a baby (or even a phot of one) every single person in the world seems compelled to say "ooh how cute" and "ooh he is so beautiful" and its so predictable and boring.  I started rolling my eyes every time Steph posted a photo of Cash on her blog or Facebook page and saw that 40 people wrote, "Oh he is so cute".  Really? That is the best comment you can come up with? Nothing funny? Nothing interesting?  

Since I can't stand being predictable or boring I started leaving comments on Stephanie's blog that were just the opposite of what any normal person would say about Cash, his antics, and his photos because it made Stephanie laugh.  And then we found out that some of Steph's friends and family were in on our joke and they started reading my comments and it made them laugh too.  So Stephanie started writing things and posting photos on her blog that she knew would bait me into writing my "rants"...and it became a fun inside joke among our closest friends and family.  And that is what it remains today.  So for anyone who reads our Facebook banter or the banter on this blog or Running With Lumpy now you know why we tease each other so mercilessly...because it makes us laugh.  And we hope you laugh along too!

If you read this far I should tell you that I just "took" your valuable time reading my blog.  Thankfully I was able to "take" something of value (your time) from you today.  

PS: Stephanie - don't think for a minute that just because I wrote a few nice things about you that I am going to stop making fun of you.  Oh, and I stole 50 of your invisible magic beans from your backyard today.  I know that is going to drive you freaking crazy and you will probably search your whole yard for them tomorrow and you won't find them.